There is now a multiverse of movies out there based on Comics and Comics Characters. There are probably quite a few that you didn't even realise are Comic Book Movies.
My ambition is to watch ALL of these movies (yes - even the BAD ones!) and review them using my own GALACTUS SCALE - named after the Planet Eating Cosmic Creation of Comics Legend Jack Kirby:
5G's = WORLD DOMINATION - Supercool! 'Nuff Said!
4G's = COSMIC AWARENESS - With Cosmic Power comes Cosmic Responsibility
3G's = KINGDOM COME - High as the Blue Area of the Moon
2G's = SECRET WAR - A Holiday in the Negative Zone
1G = MINIMUM CLONAGE - Possessed by an Alien Symbiote
ZERO G's = ABOMINATION - Deserves Ultimate Nullification
Please bear in mind that these are my own personal views on these movies with my primary intention being to entertain and inform; no offence or personal criticism is to be inferred towards the people making these films. I will to assess each project on its own merits so, even if a particular movie might seem to be poor quality it could be "successful" under its own criteria.
Anyway, keep checking in . . . This may take a while!
My ambition is to watch ALL of these movies (yes - even the BAD ones!) and review them using my own GALACTUS SCALE - named after the Planet Eating Cosmic Creation of Comics Legend Jack Kirby:
5G's = WORLD DOMINATION - Supercool! 'Nuff Said!
4G's = COSMIC AWARENESS - With Cosmic Power comes Cosmic Responsibility
3G's = KINGDOM COME - High as the Blue Area of the Moon
2G's = SECRET WAR - A Holiday in the Negative Zone
1G = MINIMUM CLONAGE - Possessed by an Alien Symbiote
ZERO G's = ABOMINATION - Deserves Ultimate Nullification
Please bear in mind that these are my own personal views on these movies with my primary intention being to entertain and inform; no offence or personal criticism is to be inferred towards the people making these films. I will to assess each project on its own merits so, even if a particular movie might seem to be poor quality it could be "successful" under its own criteria.
Anyway, keep checking in . . . This may take a while!
2 GUNS - 2013
Despite the title there are way more than 2 Guns on display in this action flick, based on a Graphic Novel by Steven Grant. This is an entertaining Buddy Movie starring Denzil Washington and Mark Wahlberg as undercover agents on the trail of a Mexican drug cartel. It's fun with a few twists and plenty of action ... not the most original of films, but the leads are engaging with plenty of banter. It really wants to be a 21st Century Lethal Weapon and, I suppose, there are worse things to aspire to.
9 LIVES OF FRITZ THE CAT - 1972
Sequel to Ralph Bakshi’s Fritz The Cat, based on Robert Crumb’s underground comix character. Made without the involvement or flair of Bakshi or Crumb this is Fritz in name only. Poor.
30 DAYS OF NIGHT - 2007
Not your Twinkly-Twilighty Vampires - these blood-suckers are horrifically feral as they terrorise an isolated town in North Alaska during a month without daylight. It’s a strong premise and the snowbound location brings to mind John Carpenter’s The Thing,
however the casting and characterisation are by-the-numbers. Danny Houston looks good as the Head Vamp but is given very little to do apart from growl and snarl.
Based on the graphic novel by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith, it spawned a couple of straight-to-DVD sequels.
however the casting and characterisation are by-the-numbers. Danny Houston looks good as the Head Vamp but is given very little to do apart from growl and snarl.
Based on the graphic novel by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith, it spawned a couple of straight-to-DVD sequels.
300 - 2007
An ultra-faithful, ultra-stylised and ultra-violent adaptation of Frank Miller’s historical graphic novel. The King of Sparta (by way of Scotland!) takes a 300-strong band of buff warriors to defeat thousands of Persian invaders. A solid British cast, featuring Gerard Butler, Dominic West, Lena Headey and Michael Fassbender, help to add some gravitas to the sillier aspects of the sword-&-sandal nonsense. Drenched in slo-mo blood and guts, it may not be to everyone’s taste but is a solid companion to Miller’s take on Ancient Greece.
300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE - 2014
Sequel, prequel and side-quel to 300 which suffers from the lack of Gerard Butler’s visceral performance. Leading man Sullivan Stapleton looks good in a loincloth but
has zero screen presence. Eva Green injects a bit of vitality as an evil warrior princess but might as well be in a different movie altogether. This adds nothing to the original
film and can be easily ignored.
has zero screen presence. Eva Green injects a bit of vitality as an evil warrior princess but might as well be in a different movie altogether. This adds nothing to the original
film and can be easily ignored.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 1991
Director Barry Sonnenfeld shows off his visual flair and wry sense of humour in this excellent big screen adaptation of Charles Addams’ ghoulish comic strip and classic 60’s TV series. Raul Julia, Angelica Huston and Christopher Lloyd head the cast, with the young Christina Ricci absolutely perfect as Wednesday. Darkly-hued comedy for the whole family.
ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES - 1993
Barry Sonnenfeld delivers a superior sequel with the same cracking cast. There's the added bonus of a psychotic Joan Cusack and a Summer Camp Massacre that would have Jason of Friday The 13th fame quaking in his blood-stained hockey mask!
AKIRA - 1988
The anime that undoubtedly launched the genre for western audiences, Akira is packed with futuristic cyber-punk visuals, adrenaline-pumped gang violence and weird mutant goings-on. Based on the epic Manga series by Katsuhiro Otomo, this is justifiably THE benchmark for Japanese Animation that all others are measured against.
ALIEN VS PREDATOR - 2004
Although there were 6 previous cinematic outings for these OTT ET's, Dark Horse Comics were the first to venture such a mash-up, which has gone from comics to video games to movies, with varying levels of success. If you can distance yourself from the classic originals there’s a lot of fun to be had here. The humans are little more than cyphers waiting to be bumped off by one or other of the extra-terrestrial menaces but Lance Henrickson is always a welcome sight. Of course, it can’t hold a candle to Alien or Aliens (or even Predator!) but is enjoyable enough on its own level.
AVP2: ALIEN VS PREDATOR REQUIEM - 2007
Aliens, Predators and an Alien/Predator Hybrid are unleashed on a modern-day American town. Poorly done and immensely forgettable. 1G purely for the interesting Alien/Predator Hybrid design, which is nowhere near as badly considered as the Human/Alien Hybrid from Alien Resurrection.
ALITA BATTLE ANGEL - 2019
The classic manga gets the big screen treatment courtesy of James Cameron and Robert Rodriguez. Coming on like a Cyberpunk Astro Boy, there’s a blazing central performance by Rosa Salazar, if you can look beyond the initially off-putting “anime
eyes”. Before long you’ll be swept up by Salazar’s openness, warmth and innocence, completely forgetting that you’re watching a CG character at all. The plot is fairly by
the numbers, the bland love interest seems stapled on and the sequel-baiting climax stops a touch too short, but go with the flow and you’ll discover a cracking live action manga with plenty of bang for your buck.
eyes”. Before long you’ll be swept up by Salazar’s openness, warmth and innocence, completely forgetting that you’re watching a CG character at all. The plot is fairly by
the numbers, the bland love interest seems stapled on and the sequel-baiting climax stops a touch too short, but go with the flow and you’ll discover a cracking live action manga with plenty of bang for your buck.
AMERICAN SPLENDOR - 2004
Based on the autobiographical comics of professional misanthrope Harvey Pekar, this is part comedy, part bio-pic, part cartoon and part documentary. Paul Giamatti inhabits Pekar to a tee and even shares screen time with Harvey himself, as well as animated versions of him and other characters. Strange, funny and moving - well worth a look.
ANT-MAN - 2015
Light-hearted superhero shenanigans featuring the smallest Avenger yet. The hugely likeable Paul Rudd holds the film together, with support from Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lily and Michael Pena. A heist movie that’s played for laughs a lot of the time, it still has a (semi-)serious core like all the Marvel movies. Good fun and, after his Giant-sized appearance in Captain America Civil War, I think we can expect big things in the future.
ANT-MAN AND THE WASP - 2018
A light palette cleanser after the emotional wallop of Avengers Infinity War - we find Paul Rudd's Scott Lang under house arrest until he's swept up in a sub-atomic rescue mission by Michael Douglas and Evangeline Lily. Able support from Laurence Fishburne, with ghostly antagonist Hannah John-Kamen throwing a dimensional wrench in the works and another scene-stealing appearance from Michael Pena. Fun and frothy but with a devastating cliffhanger.
ANT-MAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA - 2023
The “Little Guy Goes Big” in this overblown MCU threequel, with Paul Rudd, returning once more as Scott Lang. The previous Ant movies were small in scale but had a lot of heart; here there’s no sign of Scott’s crew (Michael Pena’s Luis is sorely missed), no friction with his Ex (Judy Greer) or Randall Park’s Agent Jimmy Woo and no heist element to speak of. Instead we focus on the Ant Fam: Evangeline Lily's Hope Van Dyne (The Wasp), Michael Douglas and Michelle Pfeiffer as Hank and Janet Pym - none of whom have much chemistry with each other. There's also a weird dynamic between Scott and his now-teenaged daughter Cassie (Kathryn Newton). Before you have a chance to doze off our heroes are sucked into the Quantum Realm and run afoul of the villainous Kang. Jonathon Majors turns in a good but not great performance... a bit worrying since he’s the Big Bad for the next few Marvel movies. Unfortunately it’s all disappointingly average: director Peyton Reed has obviously has no flair for the epic scope and Rudd’s likeability will only go so far mired in the CGI sludge on screen.
AQUAMAN - 2018
Jason Momoa’s portrayal of the Atlantean Hero was arguably one of the best parts of the disastrous Justice League. Equal portions of The Lion King and The Little Mermaid mix with an Indiana Jones-esque quest to find a golden trident and stop the imminent underwater civil war. And it’s Momoa’s charm that helps to pull off this enjoyably silly movie that could easily have landed as a damp squid. A further move away from the Dark Corridors of DC’s previous cinematic outings.
ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL - 2006
Directed by Terry Zwigoff and loosely based on the works of Dan Clowes, this has a quirky indie spin on the typical coming-of-age story. Nice performances from Max Minghella, Sophia Myles and John Malkovich and a smart script from Clowes give this a similar feel to Clowes and Zwigoff’s earlier colaboration Ghost World.
ASTRO BOY - 2009
Action-packed CGI version of Osamu Tezuka’s classic Manga/Anime character. Fun for the kids, with smatterings of A.I. and Pinnocchio. Excellent voice cast including Nicolas Cage, Bill Nighy and Donald Sutherland. The strategic placement of Astro's machine guns should raise a wry smile or fits of giggles depending on your actual and/or mental age.
AVENGERS ASSEMBLE - 2012
Marvel's mostly successful and mostly excellent solo outings for Iron Man, Captain America and Thor effectively (retro-actively?) became a raft of prequels for this blockbuster. Marvel's Mightiest Heroes unite to take down a Horde of Alien Baddies,
led by Loki (God of Evil and/or Mischief and/or Sly One-Liners!). Joss Whedon
masterfully juggles the different characters and mythologies, managing to pull off the nigh-impossible feat of a cracking action movie that broke box office records across
the globe - As well as finally getting a cinematic Hulk to work after two so-so attempts. Highly recommended!
led by Loki (God of Evil and/or Mischief and/or Sly One-Liners!). Joss Whedon
masterfully juggles the different characters and mythologies, managing to pull off the nigh-impossible feat of a cracking action movie that broke box office records across
the globe - As well as finally getting a cinematic Hulk to work after two so-so attempts. Highly recommended!
AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON - 2015
More muddled than Avengers Assemble, with many more characters to introduce and multiple future movie plotlines to set up, Joss Whedon barely manages to keep his head above water in this second outing for Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Among the new faces are sulky psychic Emo Witch, hunky speedster Quicksilver and ultimate bad robot Ultron. The film suffers from the Marvel Movie tropes of Evil Faceless Villain Army and Urban Death From Above Syndrome but entertaining characterisation helps to smooth over the lumpiest bumps in the plot and script. Despite having to squeeze in nods to three separate threequels (Captain America Civil War, Thor Ragnarok and Avengers Infinity War) it was great to see The Vision make his big screen debut.
AVENGERS INFINITY WAR - 2018
Grab your popcorn and make sure you've caught up with the 18 previous Marvel Movies, because the Russo Brothers dump you right in the middle of the action from the word go. Thanos, the big purple bad-ass who's been teased as far back as Avengers Assemble, makes an instant impression by racking up a huge body count of Asgardians before heading off to Earth. This is the big one that reunites The Avengers after the polarising split of Captain America Civil War and includes Doctor Strange, Black Panther, Spider-man and The Guardians Of The Galaxy. Our heroes desperately need to stop Thanos from collecting all of the Infinity Stones and making good on his promise to wipe out half of the universe... with devastating consequences that will leave you in shock or tears or both. A table-turning cliffhanger that's right up there with The Empire Strikes Back for sheer WTFability!!!
AVENGERS ENDGAME - 2019
Another tour de force from the Russo Bros, juggling an astonishing amount of characters in an amazing climax that has been 22 separate films in the making. Following the devastating events of Infinity War, our heroes come up with one chance in 17 billion to fix everything. Cue plenty of time-twisting shenanigans before the cataclysmic showdown with Thanos and his dark forces. Despite the truly epic stakes, the Russos still manage to hit all the right beats, juxtaposing smaller character moments with galactic battles and utter tragedy with laugh-out-loud comedy. Overlooking a slightly clunky “Girl Power” moment, the dazzling denouement concentrated on our core Assembled Avengers, perfectly capping the first 3 Phases of the MCU.
BARB WIRE - 1996
This Dark Horse adaptation reimagines Casablanca as an extended 80’s Hair Metal music video with plot and character development to match. Pamela Anderson can
only add surgically-enhanced gratuitous nudity to the B movie action as she’s clearly
no Bogart. Some fun to had from Xander Berkley’s jaded cop, but probably one for
die-hard Baywatchers only.
only add surgically-enhanced gratuitous nudity to the B movie action as she’s clearly
no Bogart. Some fun to had from Xander Berkley’s jaded cop, but probably one for
die-hard Baywatchers only.
BARBARELLA - 1968
French Science Fiction meets Pop Art in this Swinging Sixties Eurotrash Classic. Jane Fonda’s intergalactic peace agent lands on an alien world searching for a lost scientist. Her mission leads her into a series of erotic adventures (everything from blind angels to orgasmic torture devices!) and outre costume changes before it all explodes in lava lamp special effects. Kitsch and campy with Fonda’s “Sex Kitten Dial” turned all the way up to ELEVEN!
BATMAN THE MOVIE - 1966
This spin-off from the eternally popular 60’s TV show is probably the polar opposite
of Christopher Nolan’s brooding Dark Knight Trilogy. Adam West hams it up with his tongue firmly in his over-earnest cheek. There’s great support from the villains, as The Joker, Catwoman, The Riddler and The Penguin execute a frankly ridiculous evil plan to kidnap world leaders. Despite the “Biff! Bang! Pow!” sound effects and overall silliness firmly imprinting that “comics are just for kids” upon generations of the general public, there’s a lot to enjoy if you embrace the high camp absurdity of it all. Perhaps DC’s current cinematic universe could benefit from some of this sublime Sixties sunshine.
of Christopher Nolan’s brooding Dark Knight Trilogy. Adam West hams it up with his tongue firmly in his over-earnest cheek. There’s great support from the villains, as The Joker, Catwoman, The Riddler and The Penguin execute a frankly ridiculous evil plan to kidnap world leaders. Despite the “Biff! Bang! Pow!” sound effects and overall silliness firmly imprinting that “comics are just for kids” upon generations of the general public, there’s a lot to enjoy if you embrace the high camp absurdity of it all. Perhaps DC’s current cinematic universe could benefit from some of this sublime Sixties sunshine.
BATMAN - 1989
Tim Burton's rich gothic take on the Dark Knight was a massive box office success with a totally invasive marketing campaign that saw the Bat Logo plastered everywhere. Behind the hype, Michael Keaton is excellent as brooding playboy Bruce Wayne, but doesn’t inhabit the Bat Suit as commandingly as one might hope. Jack Nicholson's Joker literally steals the film (and most of the profits!), often at the expense of a sensible plot.
BATMAN RETURNS - 1992
The best of the gothic Burton-era movies with an amazing performance from Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman and a genuinely chilling turn from Danny DeVito as The Penguin. Michael Keaton returns as Bats, but it's the villains who once more steal the show. As always with Tim Burton, the visuals are sumptuous but the plotting and scripting leave a lot to be desired.
BATMAN FOREVER - 1995
Former hairdresser Joel Schumacher takes over the directing reins from Tim Burton and delivers a solid, if slightly campier, Bat Movie. Val Kilmer seems a better fit both in and out of the Bat-suit but is, as usual, upstaged by his villains. This time it's Jim Carrey as The Riddler cackling uber-alles and even Tommy Lee Jones' day-glo Two Face can't keep up! Least said about Chris O'Donnell as Robin the better!
BATMAN AND ROBIN - 1997
After a promising Bat-debut, Schumacher goes so Full-Tilt Neon Camp that Adam West could have turned up as BatGrandpa and it would only have improved this mega-muddle. Amazingly awful casting choices are added to such an appalling script that the whole thing dissolves into a morass of bad one-liners and Rubber Bat-nipples, while you desperately wait for it all to be over. When Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mr Freeze announces that he's going to freeze the whole of Gotham City you'll choke on your popcorn after realising that's bound to take another 30 minutes! While Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone are particularly dreadful (as Poison Ivy and Batgirl respectively), the casting lowlight has to be George Clooney slouching around Wayne Manor in a hoodie!
BATMAN BEGINS - 2005
The first of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy takes a more realistic approach to the idea of a masked vigilante. Christian Bale broods nicely as Bruce and Batman with veteran support from Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Liam Neeson and Morgan Freeman, but Katie Holmes sticks out like a sore thumb. Although a valid re-imagining of The Caped Crusader (and more in keeping with the comics' darker tone), this is unrelentingly grim with barely a chuckle in sight.
BATMAN V SUPERMAN :
DAWN OF JUSTICE - 2016
DC were stuck between a rock (capitalising on the success of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy) and a hard place (wanting a slice of Marvel’s shared universe box office bonanza). Batman gets top billing in this sequel to the non-more-grim take on Superman,
Man of Steel. In a desperate attempt to hot-wire a full-on Avengers-style franchise, the best and brightest of the DC icons are shoehorned into an already bloated mess of a movie, with only Wonder Woman making any sort of impression (even if it's only eye candy!). Unfortunately for the audience, most of DC's Snyder-verse output is "Superhero Movies Made By People Who Don't Like Superheroes" and this is no different. A miserable failure ... with emphasis on the miserable!
Man of Steel. In a desperate attempt to hot-wire a full-on Avengers-style franchise, the best and brightest of the DC icons are shoehorned into an already bloated mess of a movie, with only Wonder Woman making any sort of impression (even if it's only eye candy!). Unfortunately for the audience, most of DC's Snyder-verse output is "Superhero Movies Made By People Who Don't Like Superheroes" and this is no different. A miserable failure ... with emphasis on the miserable!
BATTLE ROYALE - 2000
A good decade before The Hunger Games exploded onto the Young Adult scene
we had this blood-soaked Japanese entry into the “Teens Fight For Survival On TV” genre. Based on the manga and novel by Koushun Takami and featuring Takeshi Kitano, this is more visceral than a whole series of Celebrity Big Brother and without a flaming dress in sight!
we had this blood-soaked Japanese entry into the “Teens Fight For Survival On TV” genre. Based on the manga and novel by Koushun Takami and featuring Takeshi Kitano, this is more visceral than a whole series of Celebrity Big Brother and without a flaming dress in sight!
BIG HERO 6 - 2014
Family friendly CGI fun, based on an obscure Marvel team book. The relationship between boy genius Hiro and his inflatable marshmallow of a robot Baymax is the heart of the movie - much stronger than the main mad scientist plot. Very funny in places with excellent Pixar-level computer animation from Disney.
BIRDS OF PREY AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN - 2020
It’s a complete mess and, much like David Ayer’s Suicide Squad, Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn is the only saving grace. I’m all for seeing a well-written film with an all-female team of superheroes - but this isn’t it! Nice to see Mary Elizabeth Winstead as The Huntress; such a pity it was in this.
BLACK PANTHER - 2018
Following his debut in Captain America Civil War, Chadwick Boseman headlines as King T'Challa in his own movie. Whilst it could easily be dismissed as The Lion King with superheroes, it does share some of the same DNA as that Disney classic with its heavy Hamlet riffs. Michael B. Jordan's ruthless Erik Killmonger turns up in the Black Futurist Utopia of Wakanda, a man on a mission and claimant to the throne. Boseman brings a quiet strength to his role, ably supported by the likes of Lupita Nyong'o, Angela Bassett and Daniel Kaluuya. A solid entry to the MCU canon and something of a cultural milestone.
BLACK PANTHER WAKANDA FOREVER - 2022
Director Ryan Coogler addresses the tragic loss of Chadwick Boseman by making a two and a half hour film about the tragic loss of Chadwick Boseman. The mostly female supporting cast fails to fill the massive hole that left the film without its title character. Ham-fisted introductions to new characters Riri Williams (aka Ironheart - coming soon to a streaming series near you) and Namor (a retooled Sub-Mariner, with a less Aquamanish origin) fall flat and even an established character picking up the mantle of Black Panther towards the end fails to lift the spirits. All in all, a mournful dirge that, instead of celebrating Boseman’s life and embodiment of such a cultural icon, wallows in its interminable grief.
BLACK WIDOW - 2021
Awkwardly set between Captain America Civil War and Avengers Infinity War, we have the long-awaited solo outing for Scarlet Johannsson’s Russian super-spy. We meet her deep-cover nuclear family - Florence Pugh as “sister” Ylena, David Harbour as “father” Alexei/Red Guardian and Rachel Weisz as “mother” Melina - to thwart the mysterious Taskmaster and evil spymaster Dreykov as they rip off Blofeld’s plan from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. The family have a lot of chemistry together and Pugh is a standout, but coming after Avengers Endgame this was only ever going to be a footnote in the MCU canon... and a disappointingly average one at that.
BLADE - 1998
Arguably the film that launched Marvel upon the big screen - ultimately leading to the blockbusting success of their Avengers franchise - Blade is an above-average horror action flick. Wesley Snipes cooly displays his action movie credentials and pointy teeth as the titular half-vampire looking to get his stake into as many of his “full-blooded” brethren as he can. Unassuming fun, this does exactly what it says on the tin and,
with its foot lodged firmly in Hollywood’s doorway, allowed the X-Men to sneak in,
hotly followed by Spider-Man, then Iron Man and his avenging pals.
with its foot lodged firmly in Hollywood’s doorway, allowed the X-Men to sneak in,
hotly followed by Spider-Man, then Iron Man and his avenging pals.
BLADE II - 2002
Ramped-up sequel to Marvel’s surprise hit, the return of Wesley Snipes' vampire
hunter is helmed by Master of Horror Guillermo Del Toro. If at times this comes across as a dry run for Del Toro’s next movie Hellboy it’s because, not only was HB creator Mike Mignola on the Production Design Team, but Ron Perlman (Big Red himself!) provides support along with a band of supernatural soldiers who might as well have
the initials B.P.R.D.! Snipes handles himself well, aided by Del Toro’s sumptuous
visual style.
hunter is helmed by Master of Horror Guillermo Del Toro. If at times this comes across as a dry run for Del Toro’s next movie Hellboy it’s because, not only was HB creator Mike Mignola on the Production Design Team, but Ron Perlman (Big Red himself!) provides support along with a band of supernatural soldiers who might as well have
the initials B.P.R.D.! Snipes handles himself well, aided by Del Toro’s sumptuous
visual style.
BLADE TRINITY - 2004
A bit of a muddle as Wesley Snipes’ titular vamp-killer seems to end up a supporting character in his own film. Blade is lumbered with a couple of sidekicks - a wise-cracking turn from Ryan Reynolds and a touch of glamour from Jessica Biel - who then steal the show. Dracula is resurrected as a lumbering thug, putting up little resistance to Blade and his chums. Followed by a short-lived TV series, with a short actor in the title role.
BULLET TO THE HEAD - 2012
A triple threat: star, movie and director a good 20-30 years out of date. Sylvester Stallone stars in this mediocre buddy cop movie from director Walter Hill, based on a french graphic novel. Both Sly and Hill are past their prime, along with the film which wouldn’t look out of place on the “Direct-to-Video Action” shelf of a 1980’s Blockbuster.
BULLETPROOF MONK - 2003
Chow Yun Fat and Sean William Scott perform well in this good-natured chop-socky adaptation of Michael Avon Oeming's Image Comic series. Formulaic fun with plenty
of banter, wire-fu action and evil Nazis after the secret of immortality. They thoughtfully remembered to leave enough threads dangling for a possible sequel.
of banter, wire-fu action and evil Nazis after the secret of immortality. They thoughtfully remembered to leave enough threads dangling for a possible sequel.
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
THE ORIGINAL AVENGER - 1990
Despite the subtitle, there's very little avenging going on here, just a crude cash in on Marvel's modern output. Although a rubber suit did wonders for Tim Burton’s Batman, but it’s much less effective here on Matt Salinger as the patriotic Cap. Done on the cheap and on the hop, ropey production values and odd narrative touches abound (the Red Skull is Italian rather than German?). Barely better than the two cheesy 70's TV movies that (thankfully!) never managed to blossom into a series.
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
THE FIRST AVENGER - 2011
Chris Evans' first stab at the Star-Spangled Avenger is a change of pace from the
usual superhero fare - A period romp through World War 2 against the Red Skull and
his Hydra shock troops. Early scenes of Evans CGI'ed into a 7 stone weakling are visually unnerving, but he displays Cap's core values of sincerity, courage and strength that will serve him well as a man out of time. Hugo Weaving hams it up nicely as the Skull and there's a touch of old school glamour from Hayley Attwell as Peggy Carter.
usual superhero fare - A period romp through World War 2 against the Red Skull and
his Hydra shock troops. Early scenes of Evans CGI'ed into a 7 stone weakling are visually unnerving, but he displays Cap's core values of sincerity, courage and strength that will serve him well as a man out of time. Hugo Weaving hams it up nicely as the Skull and there's a touch of old school glamour from Hayley Attwell as Peggy Carter.
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
THE WINTER SOLDIER - 2014
Evans returns as Cap, only to find SHIELD infiltrated by Hydra double agents and his
best buddy has returned from the grave as an amnesiac cyborg assassin. Directors Anthony and Joe Russo have crafted an excellent 70's spy thriller cunningly disguised as a superhero movie. It ramps up the action but not at the expense of character development, as well as introducing us to future Avenger The Falcon. Spoiler: There's a nice touch on Fury's tombstone that should get a knowing nod from any Pulp Fiction fans!
best buddy has returned from the grave as an amnesiac cyborg assassin. Directors Anthony and Joe Russo have crafted an excellent 70's spy thriller cunningly disguised as a superhero movie. It ramps up the action but not at the expense of character development, as well as introducing us to future Avenger The Falcon. Spoiler: There's a nice touch on Fury's tombstone that should get a knowing nod from any Pulp Fiction fans!
CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR- 2016
Cap and Iron Man come to blows in the wake of a terrorist attack that implicates the Avengers as negligent. Before anyone can phone SuperLawyers4U, sides are picked, battle lines are drawn and the Marvel Titans Clash! This is effectively Avengers 2.5, playing heavily on Stark's guilt over the Ultron debacle and Rogers' increasing disillusionment with the politics of modern espionage. There are a few new faces in the mix - a BIG promotion for Ant Man, an introduction to the Black Panther and the MCU debut of a certain wall-crawler - all pulled off with consummate ease and sufficient character beats. The Russo Brothers prove they have the chops to handle a large super ensemble and take on future Avengers installments.
CAPTAIN MARVEL - 2019
Frozen for superheroes... Brie Larson plays an amnesiac alien warrior hunting shape-shifting extra-terrestrials on Earth. Set arbitrarily in the 90’s, with very little feel for the era, she meets a young(er) Nick Fury (an impressively de-aged Samuel L. Jackson), before the climax when she can “Let It Go” and become her true self. Despite the CGI fireworks, Larson doesn’t shine as the character and the film as a whole struggles to achieve mediocrity.
CATWOMAN - 2004
Hopes were high for a solo Catwoman movie after Michelle Pfeiffer's portrayal of the feline fatale in 1992's Batman Returns ... Fast forward a dozen years and this monstrosity creeps out into cinemas only to use the earlier promise as a litter tray. Oscar-winner Halle Berry slums it in the title role, with an appalling script and even worse costume. She slinks about the nondescript cityscape like a tomcat with constipation and has to battle Sharon Stone's rock-hard cosmetic magnate. The laughable CGI is probably the most enjoyment you'll get out of this!
CONSTANTINE - 2005
Average supernatural thriller about an occult investigator and a psychic cop who
must stop the impending demonic apocalypse (now?). Unfortunately the title character, based on the streetwise British necromancer created by Comics Legend Alan Moore for Swamp Thing, is played by Keanu Reeves as ... well ... Keanu Reeves! Tilda Swinton and Peter Stormare impress as the rival forces of Heaven and Hell, while Rachel Weisz and the rest of the cast are swallowed by the infernal special effects. Changing Constantine's nationality is akin to changing his whole character... They might as well have called this mess Beverley Hills Ghostbuster!
must stop the impending demonic apocalypse (now?). Unfortunately the title character, based on the streetwise British necromancer created by Comics Legend Alan Moore for Swamp Thing, is played by Keanu Reeves as ... well ... Keanu Reeves! Tilda Swinton and Peter Stormare impress as the rival forces of Heaven and Hell, while Rachel Weisz and the rest of the cast are swallowed by the infernal special effects. Changing Constantine's nationality is akin to changing his whole character... They might as well have called this mess Beverley Hills Ghostbuster!
THE CROW - 1994
Probably better known for the on-set death of its star, Brandon Lee impresses as the rock star turned zombie-spirit-of-vengeance in this enjoyable action horror flick. Gothic visuals and striking make-up help to bring James O’Barr’s comic anti-hero to life, with high calibre evil supplied by Michael Wincott and David Patrick Kelly. This underrated 90’s classic should be higher on your must-see list.
THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS - 1996
Following the tragic death of Brandon Lee, Vincent Perez takes up the feathers as the none-more-goth vengeful anti-hero. Very little of what made the first film a cult hit survives for this disappointing sequel.
THE CROW: SALVATION - 2000
Framed for murder, electric chair, revenge... We’ve been here before, even if Eric Mabius hasn’t. What this lacks in star power it also lacks in originality.
THE CROW: WICKED PRAYER - 2005
Edward Furlong helps to scrape the bottom of the emo-revenge barrel. The 0% Rotten Tomatoes score is the most impressive thing about this.
CRYING FREEMAN - 1995
A nice early live action manga with the requisite Yakuza/Ninja action. Mark Dacascos performs well as the title character and this is fun on an uncomplicated level.
DANGER: DIABOLIK - 1968
The Italian Horror Maestro Mario Bava tries his hand at 60’s high-camp in a companion piece to Roger Vadim’s Barbarella. John Phillip Law is the cooler-than-cool criminal mastermind, armed with hi-tech gadgetry and an underground lair. Lovely pop art visuals and tongue-in-cheek dubbing add to its period charm. An undiscovered swinging sixties masterpiece or dated pop culture curio? You decide!
DAREDEVIL - 2003
A poorly conceived attempt to adapt Frank Miller's seminal take on the character that fails at almost every hurdle. Ben Affleck's miscasting as the "Lawyer-by-Day/Vigilante-by-Night" is just one of the bad decisions that Writer/Director Mark Steven Johnson must take the blame for. The main issue is the mask... almost everyone - from DD's priest to DD's arch-enemy - manages to take it off and discover his true identity! Why bother at all? Michael Clark Duncan turns in a nice performance as The Kingpin, while Colin Farrell hams it up so much as Bullseye you'd think he was in Carry On Daredevil, but Jennifer Garner is given nothing to do but pose with cutlery as Elektra. Even the Director's Cut fails to iron out many of the problems - a major clunker!
THE DARK KNIGHT - 2008
Following Batman Begins, Bale, Caine, Oldman and Freeman return for the second instalment of Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy. But, much like Nicholson in Tim Burton's 1989 movie, Heath Ledger's posthumous Oscar-winning portrayal of psychotic anarchist The Joker swamps the rest of the film. It's an entertaining watch that has struck a nerve with many people and is certainly the best of Nolan's Bat Trio.
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES - 2012
What should have been the crowning achievement of Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy offers instead a slow muddled plod with very little screen time for the eponymous Dark Knight himself. Bale spends much of the film sans Bat-suit while we focus on Tom Hardy's gas-masked villain Bane and Anne Hathaway's lithe Catwoman. There's precious little levity to be found here ... As Heath Ledger's Joker would say "Why so serious?" Like much of DC's 21st Century output, these are superhero films for people who don't like superhero comics.
DEADPOOL - 2016
After a disastrous appearance in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, star Ryan Reynolds and director Tim Miller pull Marvel’s Merc with a Mouth back from the brink in this irreverent, expletive-not-deleted tour-de-force. The minimalistic plot could fit on the back of a fag packet, but is shuffled with such highly amusing ultra-violence and fast-shooting quips that you’ll barely notice. Constantly breaking the fourth wall, extracting the urine and shooting the shizz, it’s an antidote to every po-faced supermovie you’ve seen... Not even the X-Men get off lightly. Not one for the kids, but certainly a foul-mouthed change-of-pace for the immature adults.
DEADPOOL 2 - 2018
More fourth wall breaking hyper-violence and near-the-knuckle quipping from Ryan Reynolds in the title role with a square-jawed turn from Josh Brolin as time-travelling cyborg Cable. Zazie Beetz does well with what she’s given as Domino and Julian Dennison (THe Hunt For The Wilderpeople’s Ricky Baker) steals almost every scene. There’s a knowing shout-out to Marvel Mutant Team X-Force with hilariously fitting consequences. Not a great departure in style from the highly successful first outing, but the increased budget gives director David Leitch more to play with. Cheeky fun in this darkly humourous corner of The X-Men Universe.
THE DEATH OF STALIN - 2017
Savage satirist Armando Iannucci turns his withering gaze on the power struggle to replace the titular Soviet leader following a fatal heart attack. A star-studded international cast including Steve Buscemi, Michael Palin and Jeffrey Tambor prove to be excellent at backstabbing and deadpan humour. Based on the graphic novel by Thierry Robin and Fabien Nury, this fast-paced political comedy has the sharp DNA of classics like Yes Minister, House Of Cards and Iannucci’s own The Thick Of It, proving that life can often be stranger (and a hell of a lot funnier!) than fiction.
DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE
AKA CEMETERY MAN)- 1994
Eurocomics sensation Dylan Dog in all but name... based on a novel by DD creator Tiziano Sclavi and starring Rupert Everett (artist Claudio Villa inspiration for the character). Not altogether coherent but it has a schlockly charm, with enough sex and death and zombies (plus a smattering of sexy zombies) to be recognised as a cult classic.
DOCTOR STRANGE - 2016
The BBC’s loss is Marvel’s gain as Sherlock himself (Benedict Cumberbatch) wraps himself in a Cloak of Levitation and a dodgy American accent to become their
Sorcerer Supreme. A standard origin story, has arrogant surgeon Stephen Strange come a cropper in a car accident and travel the globe looking for a mystical cure.
The occult battles are swathed in M. C. Escher inspired special effects and there’s
solid support from Tilda Swinton, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Mads Mikkelsen and Rachel McAdams. A strong first entry for the good doctor, who is set up to play a major role in future Marvel entries.
Sorcerer Supreme. A standard origin story, has arrogant surgeon Stephen Strange come a cropper in a car accident and travel the globe looking for a mystical cure.
The occult battles are swathed in M. C. Escher inspired special effects and there’s
solid support from Tilda Swinton, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Mads Mikkelsen and Rachel McAdams. A strong first entry for the good doctor, who is set up to play a major role in future Marvel entries.
DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS - 2022
Benedict Cumberbatch dons the Cape of Levitation once more only to find that director Sam Raimi has gone full Evil Dead on him. An ex-Avenger-gone-bad is pursuing a dimension-hopping teen (Xochitl Gomez’ America Chavz) through the multiverse leaving a trail of destroyed universes behind them. There are some intriguing "What If..?" style cameos from Patrick Stewart and Hayley Atwell (amongst others) and Elizabeth Olsen is finally given something worthwhile to do as Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch. There are some nice set pieces, such as the fight against Strange’s evil doppelganger and a resurrected corpse returning for the climax; Raimi imbues the scenes with a frisson of horror while still keeping things the right side of family friendly. A fun, freaky romp with intriguing glimpses of alternate realities that may well be revisited in future.
DREDD - 2012
Karl Urban gives a pitch perfect performance as the futuristic Mega City One lawman in this raw adaptation of 2000AD’s star attraction, Judge Dredd. With strong support from Olivia Thirlby as rookie Psi-Judge Anderson and a menacing turn by Lena Headey as vicious gang leader Ma-Ma, this is head and shoulders above the 90’s Stallone adaptation. Displaying some powerful slow motion special effects, the only thing that lets the film down is a lack of scale and scope: what you see of the Big Meg isn’t that impressive and the action is predominantly confined to a single tower block. Urban provides a masterclass in superior chin acting and is confident enough in the characterisation to keep the helmet on throughout.
DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT - 2011
Based on the best-selling Italian fumetti by Sciavelli, this is spooky fun with Brandon Routh as a paranormal private eye who specialises in undead clients. A large dose of Joss Whedon's TV Buffy and a pinch of Constantine serve up an enjoyable mixture of vampires, werewolves, ghouls and zombies. The setting is transposed from the comic’s London locale to the more exotic New Orleans. Routh is likeable in the lead and this easy-going supernatural romp could have been a TV pilot.
ELEKTRA - 2005
A sequel of sorts to the dreadful Ben Affleck-starring Daredevil movie of 2003 and just as disappointing. Elektra is raised from the dead by "ninja magic" but no such luck for the film itself. Despite having a whole movie Jennifer Garner is still given practically nothing to do. Sometimes dead ninjas, like movies, are better left in their celluloid graves. 1G for the slighty more comic accurate red costume.
ETERNALS - 2021
Making Jack Kirby’s more outlandish concepts work on the big screen has proved problematic for many film-makers. Retooling The King’s most bombastic creations for a modern cinema audience either has to embrace the sheer over-the-top Kirbyness or fall flat. These cosmic beings are supposed to be the larger-than-life templates for the mythological pantheons of ancient religions, but are reimagined (and written and acted) as emotionless space robots. A large cast of dull characters have so little to do that they practically sleepwalk through to the finale’s big, pointless fight. Director Chloe Zhao approaches this epic tale of gods and mythology played out across millenia as though it were a coach trip to the seaside that gets stuck in traffic due to climate protests on the M25. Overlong and boring.
FANTASTIC FOUR - 2005
A bargain basement version of “The World’s Greatest Comic Characters” that's not all bad but far from "fantastic". A pre-Captain America Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis spark quite nicely off each other as the Human Torch and The Thing, but everything else rings hollow. Ioann Gruffydd and Jessica Alba have absolutely no chemistry as Reed and Sue and are given no personalities either. Julian McMahon makes a promising start as Victor Von Doom but that all goes out the window once he develops metal skin and electric powers. Not without a modicum of charm but Marvel’s “First Family” deserved much, much better than ropey CGI... The Average Four doesn't have the same ring to it.
FANTASTIC four:
RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER - 2007
Mediocre sequel to the previous mediocre outing with nothing to recommend it apart from a nicely realised Silver Surfer. Motion captured by Doug Jones and voiced by Laurence Fishburne, it’s great to see the Surfer on screen... but unfortunately the world-eating Galactus turns up as ***Spoiler Alert!!!*** A GIANT F###ING SPACE CLOUD!!! So, that’s 1G for the Surfer... and minus 10 for The Big G himself!
FANT4STIC - 2015
Why is it SO difficult to make a decent Fantastic 4 movie? Where the earlier versions (and this abortion!) went wrong is in missing out the family dynamic that makes the
team unique. Here, in a scenario based on Marvel’s Ultimate FF, they are far too
young - barely friends, never mind a family... Sue and Johnny Storm aren’t even properly related! Director Josh Trank made a far superior low budget alt/superhero movie called Chronicle - Better yet, why not watch The Incredibles instead? It’s the
best FF movie never made! This is drab, dreary and ABSOLUTELY NO FUN!!!
Avoid.
team unique. Here, in a scenario based on Marvel’s Ultimate FF, they are far too
young - barely friends, never mind a family... Sue and Johnny Storm aren’t even properly related! Director Josh Trank made a far superior low budget alt/superhero movie called Chronicle - Better yet, why not watch The Incredibles instead? It’s the
best FF movie never made! This is drab, dreary and ABSOLUTELY NO FUN!!!
Avoid.
FAUST LOVE OF THE DAMNED - 2000
A sordid cult comic dripping with gore and nudity translates into a sordid cult movie dripping with nudity and gore. A psychotic hero with foot long metal claws battles an immortal demon (played by someone probably slumming it from a heavy metal band) and a slutty succubus who’s all boobs and bottom (quite literally in one scene!) for the soul of a bland psychiatrist with a dark (and dull) secret. Brian Yunza, the brain behind sublime body-morphing horror satire Society, calls the shots, slashes and gashes. In undeniably poor taste but entertaining on its own (admittedly low) level.
FLASH GORDON - 1980
Known more for its undeniably catchy Queen soundtrack than its plot or acting, this takes as much from the classic 1930’s serials as it does from Sixties sci-fi romp Barbarella. Sam Jones as Flash is just a hunk of beef, leaving Topol, Max Von Sydow and Brian Blessed to chew the scenery into bite-sized chunks. Following Star Wars, the retro special effects seemed quaint back then but now give the film an oddly timeless quality. Outrageously camp with a slightly sinister edge, this is a solid classic that’s a lot more fun than it deserves to be!
FRITZ THE CAT - 1972
Underground comix icon Robert Crumb’s hedonistic feline pokes fun at the 1960’s New York youth culture. Ralph Bakshi’s ground-breaking adult animation features Fritz as a college dropout in pursuit of as much sex and drugs as he can get his paws on. There are some attitudes on display that are more problematic from a modern standpoint, particularly the treatment of the female characters and the portrayal of the black characters as crows (it wasn’t good when Disney did it and it’s not good here!) but this x-rated cartoon was a big hit in the early 70’s and remains true to the spirit of Crumb’s published stories. There’s some fun to be had if you can overlook the obviously dated approach.
FROM HELL - 2001
Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell’s graphic novel is a dense, intricate investigation of the horrific Jack The Ripper murders and a forensic dissection of Victorian society; The Hughes Brothers’ film adaptation is a bog-standard Hollywood slasher with artfully crafted squalor. Johnny Depp’s East End copper is a drug-addled psychic and Heather Graham's lady of the night errs on the side of glamour. Despite some striking visuals (particularly the ominous blood-red skies), this is a stab-by-numbers murder mystery. Lose yourself in the book instead.
FUTURE SHOCK! THE STORY OF 2000AD - 2014
A fascinating look behind the scenes at the creation and legacy of the galaxy’s greatest comic. First blasting off in the heyday of punk and Star Wars, now 2000AD is rapidly approaching a half century of continuous publishing... almost unheard of for a British adventure weekly.* Includes numerous interviews with The Mighty Tharg’s writers and artists who brought us Judge Dredd, Strontium Dog, Nemesis The Warlock and many, many other classic characters and stories... before they all went off to America to become rich and famous.
*I know Beano and Dandy have been going since the 1930’s but they haven’t got their own film!
*I know Beano and Dandy have been going since the 1930’s but they haven’t got their own film!
GHOST RIDER - 2007
Nicolas Cage stars as living-life-on-the-edge motorcycle stunt rider Johnny Blaze who sells his soul to a demonic Peter Fonda, only to become a blazing-skulled spirit of vengeance. Eva Mendes has very little to do as Johnny’s unconvincing childhood sweetheart. Cage turns in an unsurprisingly over-the-top performance and some of the fiery effects look pretty cool, but there’s no grasp on the characters or source material - like director Mark Steven Johnson’s previous Marvel outing Daredevil it fails to hit every mark.
GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE - 2012
Nicolas Cage returns as the hot-headed biker on a vengeance kick. This time around, a lower budget sees him slumming it in the arse-end of Europe, mixed up with a demonic body swap plot. The lack of money shows on screen but the pared-down script seems closer to its comic book roots and a solid supporting cast of British thesps (Idris Elba, Ciaran Hinds and Anthony Head) plus Christopher Lambert go along with all the silliness. Dumb fun but it’s clear to see why a threequel never materialised.
GHOST WORLD - 2001
Terry Zwigoff’s Oscar-nominated feature debut is based on Dan Clowes’ graphic novel about a couple of teenage girls adjusting to life after high school. Thora Birch and Scarlett Johansson are pitch perfect as the directionless Gen-Xers - It’s great to see Johansson play a gawky teen before becoming the Hollywood sex symbol we know today. As is de rigeur for any US Indy movie there’s a (great) appearance from Steve Buscemi.
GREEN LANTERN - 2011
Why has it been so difficult for DC to realise their iconic characters on the big screen? Ryan Reynolds is perfect superhero material (as evidenced by his sterling turn in 2016’s Deadpool!) and Director Martin Campbell successfully relaunched James Bond twice (helming both Pierce Brosnan AND Daniel Craig’s debuts), as well as reinventing Zorro for modern audiences. But something here fell flat. A confusing script, awful (really, REALLY awful!!!) CGI costumes and lame CGI villain overwhelm Reynold’s charisma and Campbell’s professionalism.
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY - 2014
THE WHO? One of Marvel’s biggest blockbusters featured a Celestial’s head worth of heroes that you’d never heard of... Starlord (a displaced Earthman), Drax (a humourless tattooed killing machine), Gamorra (a green-skinned assassin), Rocket (a fast-talking, gun-toting raccoon) and Groot (a walking tree!). Employing the light-hearted, quick-quipping style of Joss Whedon’s Avengers Assemble and a universe-destroying macguffin, James Gunn delivers a rollicking space romp to a winningly eclectic 70’s/80’s soundtrack.
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2 - 2017
Marvel’s bickering astro-nuts return in a high profile sequel that, while still a lot of fun, fails to match up to the nigh-impossible standards of their first outing. The heavy- handed theme of this one is “FAMILY!” Star Lord’s daddy issues, more sibling rivalry for Gamora and Nebula and some heart-warming moments with Drax and Rocket. And, in amongst the supernova-sized action sequences, it’s Baby Groot who steals the show! Surprisingly, the big let down this time is the soundtrack... Guardians Vol. 1 was peppered with catchy obscurities for extra off-the-wall ambience. Unfortunately, Vol. 2 might as well be "Now That's What I Call 80’s Soft Rock Nightmare". The movie opens with an amazing action sequence choreographed to Mr. Blue Sky... and that’s as inspired as the music gets. It feels like they’re coasting on their feelgood rep from last time round, but that'll only get you so far. Still, it's always nice to see Kurt Russell turn up as a deranged celestial!
HEAVY METAL - 1981
Heavy Metal was the American magazine that reinterpreted the arty French sci-fi mag Metal Hurlant with smutty schoolboy humour. Fans of Comics Legends such as Moebius, Richard Corben and Berni Wrightson might be enthralled by these animated takes on their classic works - but it’s more likely they’d be appalled! However, if cartoons of lusty aliens and busty babes are your thing...
I can’t bring myself to finish that sentence.
I can’t bring myself to finish that sentence.
HELLBOY - 2004
The Beast of the Apocalypse, summoned to Earth by Rogue Nazi Occultists to usher in the destructive reign of Lovecraftian Elder Gods . . . It hardly sounds like your regular comic hero romp. And it’s certainly not! Hellboy is a bright red demon and paranormal investigator, partnered with psychic amphibian Abe Sapien and pyrokinetic love interest Liz Sherman. He rails against his destiny and the supernatural forces commanded by Rah-Rah-Rasputin (Russia’s Famous Love Machine) with little more than a big gun, a few wise cracks and a large stone fist (the awesome Right Hand of Doom!). Guillermo Del Toro shows a lightness of touch that belies the dark overtones, focussing on the characters and a tongue-in-cheek script. Ron Perlman is the perfect embodiment of the working stiff whose day job is punching out the strangest creatures to emerge from the netherworld and beyond! Great stuff!
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY - 2008
Guillermo Del Toro followed the first Hellboy movie with Pan’s Labyrinth and this second outing plays as much like Pan as it does its eponymous character. Bursting at the seams with all manner of massive monsters, creepy creatures and eerie ephemera, Hellboy often feels like a supporting character in his own film. Del Toro’s theme is that, as much as “Big Red” considers himself human, he actually has more in common with the supernatural beasties that he’s whalloping. A less pure Hellboy film than the first one, but with such lush visuals you’ll be swept up in it anyway. And the Angel of Death has to be the best-designed movie monster since Giger’s Alien!
HELLBOY - 2019
The Big Red Demon with a Right Hand Of Doom and a Heart Of Gold is back for a third outing, but this time without Guardian Angel Guillermo Del Toro. David Harbour seems a good fit for the title role and Director Neil Marshall has a strong pedigree with cult horror flicks Dog Soldiers and The Descent and the intent to dig into Mike Mignola’s rich comic universe for a darker take also showed a lot of promise. Unfortunately, what emerges is a total mess from beginning to end. The filmmakers have strip-mined the comics to such an extent that there’s too much content and not enough focus. So many characters and storylines are thrown at the audience that they’re too busy tripping over each other to start making sense. Hellboy's make-up is awful and the script calls for him to act like a moody teenager throughout, with no sign of an arc or development. The whole enterprise only leaves you pining for the oft-delayed and now completely moribund conclusion to Del Toro and Perlman’s cinematic trilogy.
HOWARD THE DUCK - 1986
Marvel Comics’ Howard was a misanthropic mouthpiece for his creator Steve Gerber to rail against the absurdities of 70’s America and was a welcome change from the “punch-up of the month” superhero comics of the time. This film is a terrible misfire on all counts - poorly conceived, woefully miscast and totally misjudged from the word go. Not enough action, too few laughs and, for a family friendly movie, it raises some disturbing issues about the "Love That Dare Not Quack Its Name"! Howard is played by a dwarf in a duck suit and voiced straight out of a kiddie cartoon ... A sharper script and a decent voice actor may have lent some character to the central performance. Howard's 30 second cameo at the tail-end of Guardians of the Galaxy is way better than this feathered omni-shambles... rightfully known as "Howard The Turkey"!
HULK - 2003
Arthouse director Ang Lee surprised many people when he chose to tackle Marvel’s super green rage monster. Eric Bana stars as mild-mannered scientist Bruce Banner and, despite strong support from Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte, the film drags badly in places. Sadly the early Noughties special effects weren’t quite there yet and when Banner starts hulking out the film really fails to deliver. It doesn’t help that Lee himself dons the mo-cap suit rather than get a proper actor to portray The Hulk - it doesn't help when your leading man looks like he's made out of plasticene! Unnecessarily slow in the dramatic bits and disappointingly lacklustre when it comes to the Hulk-Smashing Action, this pre-MCU entry will never amount to more than a footnote in superhero cinema.
ICHI THE KILLER - 2001
Blood-drenched ultra-violence and twisted deviancy vie for dominance in Issi Miyake’s OTT adaptation of the popular manga from Hideo Yamamoto. Crazier than a barrel full of monkeys on hallucinogenic mushrooms ... Not for the faint-hearted or narrow-minded!
THE INCREDIBLE HULK - 2008
Edward Norton takes over as Bruce Banner for the Jolly Green Giant’s MCU debut and his take seems inspired by the 70’s Hulk TV show. A miscast Tim Roth turns up as The Abomination with support from Liv Tyler, William Hurt and Tim Blake Nelson. Though Norton does a fine job in the title role, “creative differences” behind the scenes ensured that he wouldn’t be part of the Avengers Initiative going forward. At least the cgi has caught up with the action this time so Hulk can smash convincingly. An improvement on the Ang Lee mis-step, but still not the definitive screen Hulk.
IRON MAN - 2008
What is Marvel’s usp when it comes to their movie adaptations? DC have the most iconic characters and with Superguy, Batdude and Wonderful Woman you can pretty much stick anyone in the costume and it’s a done deal (okay maybe not George Clooney!). But with Marvel it’s more about the alter egos: the faces and personalities behind the masks. You’re not casting Spider-Man but Peter Parker, not Captain America but Steve Rogers and... most importantly for this inaugural MCU outing... not Iron Man but Tony Stark. A director not known for action blockbusters, an unfinished script, an at best c-list superhero that was little known outside comics and a shop-soiled star who’d spent the last decade or so juggling Oscar nominations, rehab and jail. Shockingly Jon Favreau takes a massive gamble and manages to pull it all together for an amazing debut that launched a franchise. Robert Downey Jr inhabits the soul of Tony Stark long before he’s encased in his heroic armour, Jeff Bridges provides a solid antagonist and Gwyneth Paltrow is a sweet if underappreciated love interest. It’s immense fun without being cheesy, moving without being maudlin, serious without being po-faced about it. The post-credit sting had everyone on the edge of their seats for more... and boy did we get it!
IRON MAN 2 - 2010
The first Iron Man was such an amazing success that a sequel and further spin-offs were a certainty. Robert Downey Jr reprises his role as Tony Stark/Iron Man with much of his supporting cast returning. Don Cheadle takes over from Terrence Howard as Rhodey (later War Machine) and the baddies this time round are fellow industrialist Justin Hammer (an under-used Sam Rockwell) and Ivan Vanko/Whiplash (an eccentric Mickey Rourke). Hammer and Vanko never seem too problematic for Tony and, with Rhodey’s help, are fairly swiftly dealt with. There’s a larger presence for SHIELD this time round with Clark Gregg’s Agent Coulson and Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury driving things forward and the introduction of Scarlet Johansson’s Natasha Romanov/Black Widow. The film spends a little too much setting up the (inevitable) Avengers team-up and not enough focusing on Tony himself. It’s still a fun if bumpy ride and Downey Jr pulls it off effortlessly.
IRON MAN 3 - 2013
Post Avengers Assemble and it seems Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) is suffering from PTSD following his extra-dimensional near death experience. After a run-in with global terrorist The Mandarin (Sir Ben Kingsley), Tony is stripped of his armour and tech, forced to storm the evil mastermind’s stronghold with whatever he can cobble together from scraps. I won’t go into “the twist” here that outraged so many fans; I think it works well and is an effective subversion of expectations. Suffice to say, Guy Pearce’s Aldrich Killian has been pulling the strings (and exploding mercenaries) all along and Tony has to suit up to rescue Pepper and The US President. Director and Co-Writer Shane Black gets a lot of unnecessary flack for this entry but I think it holds up and is an improvement on the stodgy second instalment. Highly enjoyable if you don’t get hung up on “the twist”.
JOKER - 2019
What if Martin Scorsese had made a movie about Batman’s arch-nemesis in the 1970’s? An immersive and mesmerising performance from Joaquin Pheonix as failed comedian turned psychotic anti-hero Arthur Fleck channels Robert De Niro’s characters from Taxi Driver and The King Of Comedy, while director Todd Phillips perfectly captures the grimy punk aesthetic of late 70’s New York. Only tangentially related to the larger DC universe, you have to wonder if this would’ve got as much attention if it hadn’t been based on the iconic Bat-villain. A powerful character study of mental illness with a fashionable (but perhaps unnecessary) sheen of comic book cool.
JONAH HEX - 2010
The comic version of Jonah Hex, a badly scarred “Man-With-No-Name” traversing the weirdest outposts of the Wild West, is obviously not quirky enough for the modern comic-hungry cinema audience. Instead we have Josh Brolin (doing his best Eastwood impression) raising the dead in his quest for vengeance against John Malkovich as the steampunk villain who killed his family. It’s an incoherent mess that brings to mind Will Smith’s disasterous Wild Wild West, with all the nonsense and none of the fun.
JUDGE DREDD - 1995
2000AD’s signature character and the futuristic Mega City 1 look great, but it only takes about 20 minutes for Sylvester Stallone to shoot the whole enterprise in its collective foot. By removing Dredd’s iconic helmet, Stallone throws the character’s mystique and raison d’etre out with the bath water. The set design and special effects are impressive and Armand Assante hams it up nicely as Dredd’s scenery-chewing evil twin. However, daft plotting and heavy-handed light relief leave the film stranded in the radioactive wasteland of poor comic book movies.
JUSTICE LEAGUE - 2017
A troubled production from the start, Zack Snyder’s vision of the darkest of dark takes was never going to work on every DC character and the money men obviously wanted a more Marvelesque family friendly approach. Avengers Assemble’s Joss Whedon was handed the poison chalice and told to “Marvel” things up with massive reshoots and script revisions; he was only partially successful. The muddled result is a wildly inconsistent hodge-podge of styles, humour and characterisation. None of the heroes really get their chance to shine and the least said about Henry Cavill’s upper lip the better. A massive misfire for DC’s icons, sending shockwaves that led to the ultimate demise of the “Snyderverse”.
ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE - 2021
An eleventh hour reprieve for the Snyderverse’s death sentence... Zack Snyder’s original vision was for two Justice League movies and here we have his original footage reassembled into a 4-hour cut. Incredibly long though it is, it makes more sense than the Joss Whedon version with increased character development and a more coherent story. Despite some good work by many of the actors this version of the DC icons was never sustainable in the long term - Snyder, like Christopher Nolan before him, didn’t have a good grasp on the characters. Comic book movies shouldn’t be made by people who don’t like comic books.
KICK-ASS - 2010
Comic writer Mark Millar's tale of self-made vigilantes, Millar asks the question “Why does everybody want to be Paris Hilton and not Spider-Man?”. Probably because you’ll wind up the local mob boss and have to be rescued by a scene-stealing, C-bomb dropping, ninja school girl. Vaughan draws excellent performances from his leads Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Christopher Mintz-Platz as teen nerds turned arch-rivals Kick-Ass and Red Mist, but they are consistently trumped by Chloe Grace Moretz as Hit Girl! There’s able support from Mark Strong and Nicolas Cage, plus a completely over the top Matrix-style shoot out at the big finale. Surprisingly sweet despite the rum language and ultra-violence.
KICK-ASS 2 - 2013
The inevitable follow-up to Mathew Vaughan’s Kick-Ass fails to recapture the lightning in the bottle of that street-level superhero magic. With a tone much closer to Mark Millar and John Romita Jr’s comics, which were pretty grim and mean-spirited, we get a film that’s pretty grim and mean-spirited. Reprising their roles Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chloe Grace Moretz and Christopher Mintz-Plasse no longer convince as the teenage ingenues and director Jeff Wadlow doesn’t have Vaughan’s deft touch. Jim Carrey, who played fellow vigilante Colonel Stars And Stripes, rightly denounced the movie in light of a recent school shooting and poor critical and box office response scuppered any further Kick-Ass or Hit Girl spin-offs. One to skip or risk a nasty aftertaste.
KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE - 2014
Having crafted celluloid gold with Kick-Ass, Director Matthew Vaughan and Screenwriter Jane Goldman turn their attention to another Mark Millar creation. Riffing on old-school Bond and 60’s spy movies, we see the streetwise Eggsy inducted into a world of smart suits, hi-tech gadgets and idiosyncratic evil villains. Taryn Edgerton manages to pull off the Council Estate Yoof’s transformation into the silky-smooth superspy, with thinking-woman’s crumpet Colin Firth and the always dependable Mark Strong in support but an annoying turn from Samuel L. Jackson as the would-be world conqueror. Once again, Vaughan and Goldman add enough heart to make this rise above the harder-edged source material.
THE LEAGUE OF
EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN - 2003
It seemed as though no-one involved in this omni-shambles could agree on how best to adapt Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill’s wonderful graphic novel series featuring the greatest characters of Victorian literature: Allan Quartermain, Mina Harker, Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The Director fell out with the Star; the Screenwriter ran afoul of the Studio adding superfluous characters and unnecessarily complicated plot twists; Moore and O’Neill fell out with the Producer and even the marketing department didn’t know what to do with it! Despite a cool steampunk aesthetic and promising but minimal development of Hyde and Nemo, most of the characters are unrecognisable from both the original source material AND the graphic novel!
Sean Connery plays Quartermain as geriatric James Bond rather than over-the-hill adventurer and the plot is incomprehensible, with incompetently handled major twists. Confused? You will be... If you manage to stay awake. Extraordinarily dull!
Sean Connery plays Quartermain as geriatric James Bond rather than over-the-hill adventurer and the plot is incomprehensible, with incompetently handled major twists. Confused? You will be... If you manage to stay awake. Extraordinarily dull!
LOGAN - 2017
Hugh Jackman delivers his “final” performance as The X-Men’s Wolverine in this vaguely post-apocalyptic dystopia. Logan is losing his healing power and Charles Xavier is suffering from dementia while corporate mercenaries have evil designs on a group of young mutants. Logan accepts the mission to transport these “X-Babies” to a possible sanctuary called Eden. Jackman and Patrick Stewart are pure gold as superheroes-past-their-sell-by-date in a world that’s Mad Max mixed with The Wild Bunch and Unforgiven. Dafne Keen makes an amazing debut as Laura - the latest graduate fro the Weapon X programme, codenamed X-23. Director James Mangold delivers bleak, deserted vistas - a convincingly broken down environment for our broken heroes. A elegiac epilogue for the best of Fox’s X-franchise.
THE LOSERS - 2010
A 21st Century A-Team, this cadre of ex-special operatives are out to take down the dodgy espionage spook who did them wrong. Based on Andy Diggle and Jock’s DC Vertigo series it features MCU mainstays Chris Evans, Zoe Saldana and Idris Elba amongst a strong cast. A fast-paced action spy thriller that unapologetically wears its influences on its sleeve. Unabashed fun with a few twists thrown in to keep things spicy.
MAN OF STEEL - 2013
Zack Snyder makes the mistake of thinking that Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight is a good look for DC’s most iconic hero... Out go the primary reds and blues of Superman’s classic costume to be replaced by muted greys. Likewise Supes’ trademark optimism is traded in for a brooding pessimism that seeps into the whole film. Henry Cavill has a striking look but was never given the chance to properly portray the character. Michael Shannon is impressive as the villainous General Zod but his “defeat” is a major black mark on the legacy of the world’s first superhero. The start of a decade-long mis-step in comics-related cinema for DC.
THE MASK - 1994
Jim Carrey burns up the screen with an electrifying performance in the title role. He also convinces as put-upon loser Stanley Ipkiss and Cameron Diaz debuts as Tina, a gangster's moll with a heart. The pair have a sweet chemistry that belies the crazy cartoon antics of our green-visaged hero. Carrey’s penchant for face-pulling and physical comedy reputedly saved the SFX budget a few quid and the practical effects look less dated than the embryonic cgi. A Looney Tune come to life: it’s a blast!
POPEYE - 1980
Perhaps auteur Robert Altman wasn’t the best person to helm this live action musical version of E. C. Segar’s spinach-chomping cartoon sailor. Shelly Duvall was born to play Olive Oyl and Robin Williams tries his best in the title role, but most of his mutterings get lost in the muddled sound mix. It lacks the deftness of touch needed for most musicals and commits the cardinal sin of not having a single memorable song on the soundtrack.
THE PUNISHER - 1989
Direct-To-Video Superstar Dolph Lundgren gets all moody and broody as a
widowed-cop-turned-vengeful-vigilante on a mobster hunt. There’s not a skull motif in
sight to please hard-core comic enthusiasts and Dolph’s monosyllabic dialogue does
little to raise it above a standard 80’s D-grade action flick. Throw in some gangsters, ninjas, kidnapping, murder, fighting and explosions, then mix lethargically for 89 minutes to regurgitate some mindlessly generic violence.
widowed-cop-turned-vengeful-vigilante on a mobster hunt. There’s not a skull motif in
sight to please hard-core comic enthusiasts and Dolph’s monosyllabic dialogue does
little to raise it above a standard 80’s D-grade action flick. Throw in some gangsters, ninjas, kidnapping, murder, fighting and explosions, then mix lethargically for 89 minutes to regurgitate some mindlessly generic violence.
THE ROCKETEER - 1991
Dave Stevens’ love letter to the Classic Hollywood and Cliffhanger Serials is nicely realised, with Bill Campbell strapping on the dodgy rocket pack and Art Deco helmet, plus Jennifer Connelly almost as glamourous as her inspiration (Bettie Page). Throw in a Nazi-sympathising spy ring, run by a dastardly Timothy Dalton, and you’ve got a fun, family friendly action thriller. Not a massive hit on release but well worth another look.
SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD - 2010
Surely the best Manga/Gaming/Rock Band movie mash-up ever! The plot has 20-something slacker Scott Pilgrim battling his new girlfriend’s Seven Evil Exes to win her heart. Michael Cera is probably miscast in a title role that calls for a dumb pretty boy, but everyone else looks as though they’ve stepped right out of Bryan Lee O’Malley’s 6 volume graphic novel series! Excellent cameos from ex-superheroes Brandon Routh and Chris Evans plus an evil turn from Jason Schwarztman, coupled with a poundingly-punkish Beck soundtrack, add up to a tremendously entertaining movie. The disappointing box office only adds to its growing cult classic status.
SHANG CHI AND THE LEGEND OF
THE TEN RINGS - 2021
Simu Liu stars as a secret martial arts expert who has to stop his semi-mystical ganglord dad from opening a portal to hell. Early on we get a bit of Hong Kong action in some impressive fight scenes, but when the story moves into a more magical phase we’re plunged into a mess of unnecessary cgi demons. A pleasant enough diversion that fails to live up to it’s promise.
SHAZAM - 2019
Formerly known as Captain Marvel, DC’s Shazam was released, ironically, at the same time as the MCU Captain Marvel. But instead of Grrrl Power Superheroics we get a body swap comedy with an average teen in a super-strong body. Zachary Levy provides a lot of fun as the titular “Big Red Cheese”, but never quite convinces as the same character as his younger alter ego. A fresh take on the superhero movie with a positive family message, even if it turns a bit “Power Rangery” at the end.
SIN CITY - 2005
Definitely the most faithful comics adaptation you’ll ever see as the pages of Frank Miller’s comic book noir literally come to life under one-man-film-studio Robert Rodriguez. There's a strong cast including Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, Clive Owen and Jessica Alba, but it’s Miller’s jet black humour and graphic visual style that dominates. Just like the comics, stark black and white is penetrated by vivid splashes of colour: red lipstick here, blue eyes there, That Yellow Bastard right in front of you! And yet, for all the hard-boiled action and fetishisation of the female characters, you can see that Rodriguez’ tongue is firmly in his cheek. It may not be to everyone’s taste but, for those who can see past some of the (admittedly questionable) genre trappings, there’s a rollicking good time to be had.
SIN CITY 2: A DAME TO KILL FOR - 2014
Everything looks a bit tired and no wonder - there’s been a decade gap between this and the first Sin City movie. Many of the returning characters and actors look a bit long in the tooth to still be doing this and most of the rest seem like they’d rather be somewhere else. Eva Green adds some vim and va-va-voom as a particularly fatale femme, but otherwise we’ve seen it all before.
SON OF THE MASK - 2005
What would The Mask have been without Jim Carrey? Look no further than this dismal Carrey-less sequel starring Jamie Kennedy. Alan Cumming seems to be having fun as the mischievous Loki but you certainly won’t.
SPIDER-MAN - 2002
A strong movie debut for Marvel's Friendly Neighbourhood Wall-Crawler. Sam Raimi’s kinetic direction and Toby Maguire’s spot-on casting are a good match and Wilem Dafoe is a maniac’s maniac as the raving Norman Osborn/Green Goblin. However, Kirsten Dunst fails to capture the essence of Spidey’s sweetheart Mary-Jane Watson and the CGI is pretty clunky in places but the overall energy carries it through. There are some stand-out action sequences but the essence of Spider-Man has always been Peter Parker and the Raimi/Maguire team capture it perfectly. Plus a special shout-out to J.K. Simmons who shamelessly steals every scene as grizzled newspaper boss J. Jonah Jameson!
SPIDER-MAN 2 - 2004
Sam Raimi flexes his horror muscles in this wall-crawling follow-up as Alfred Molina turns up as Doctor Octopus to menace Toby Maguire’s returning hero with his evil tentacles. There are some great action set pieces and the subway train fight is a highpoint of this trilogy. Both Raimi and Maguire give it their all and that’s reflected in the fondness people still have for this iteration of the character. A rare sequel that’s just as good as - if not better than - the first.
SPIDER-MAN 3 - 2007
Toby Maguire’s Web-Slinger has a New Green Goblin, The Sandman and Venom to contend with, alongside a new love interest (Bryce Dallas Howard’s Gwen Stacy) complicating his relationship with Kirsten Dunst’s scream queen Mary Jane. An over-stuffed pudding with too much going on for Sam Raimi to cover effectively: a disappointingly mediocre end to this landmark series.
SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING - 2017
Following his barnstorming debut in Captain America Civil War, Tom Holland dons the webs once more to play the Friendly Neighbourhood Wall-Crawler in his first solo outing. And it doesn’t disappoint! While not an origin story as such, does an “amazing” job of establishing Peter Parker as probably the most grounded hero in the MCU. With sterling support from RDJ’s Tony Stark and Marisa Tomei as a younger (and hotter!) Aunt May, plus a villainous turn from Michael Keaton as The Vulture, who’s SO MUCH scarier in his civilian identity! Although no-one actually says it, the adage of “With great power comes great responsibility” still rings true. Holland convinces as both a High Schooler and a local superhero, more at home crouching on a window ledge rather than posing dynamically atop a skyscraper. A pleasant surprise that this over-familiar character with 5 (FIVE!!!) previous cinematic outings should feel so fresh and fit so well into the already crowded MCU.
SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME - 2019
Acting as an epilogue to Avengers Endgame, this second solo outing for Tom Holland’s Wall-Crawler sees our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man further afield on a school trip across Europe. Of course, this coincides with a mission for SHIELD and an elemental incursion from another dimension. Peter is unwilling to take on the burden of Tony Stark’s legacy and is happy to pass the torch to new hero Mysterio. With an understandably smaller focus and lighter touch than the last two Avengers movies, the story concentrates on Peter’s awkward attempts to woo MJ as much as the slam bang action. Featuring engaging performances from the two young leads, a Spectacular Spider-Twist that turns the movie on its head and a post-credits cameo shocker that’ll have long-term Spider-Fans beaming and screaming in equal measure.
SUICIDE SQUAD - 2016
David Ayer brings on DC’s bad guys in this nonsensical nonsense. The Suicide Squad are a group of super-powered (?) criminals who are enticed into Dirty Dozen-style missions to get early release from their sentences. These are all D-list characters, with only Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn and Will Smith’s Deadshot making any lasting impression. Behind the scenes chaos amounts to a 2 hour trailer, jam-packed with over the top action, zero character development stapled onto an incoherent story and lacklustre team that never gels together. Robbie is so good that Harley got two subsequent outings - the rest of them are just cinematic cannon fodder. If you switch off your brain throughout you might get an inch of fun out of this.
THE SUICIDE SQUAD - 2021
James Gunn picks up the reins and puts the “suicide” back into Suicide Squad. With only a few returning characters - Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn and Viola Davis’ Amanda Waller among them - the team invade a South American country on a blood-soaked mission to cover up an alien experiment. Robbie once again steals the show as Harley, but is given a good run for her money from Idris Elba’s Bloodsport, David Dastmalchian's Polka-Dot Man and especially John Cena as Peacemaker. Gunn revels in the absurdity of this corner of the DC Universe and the climax of the film features aa antagonist that is both frightening and ridiculous. Throw in Peter Capaldi as The Thinker and Sylvester Stallone as King Shark for back-up and you’ve got an extremely funny and irreverent look at the underside of the superhero world. The first DC film where the extreme violence and language feels natural for the story and not just there to be “edgy”. An hilarious success, but not one for the kids.
SUPERGIRL - 1984
Superman’s cousin arrives on Earth in search of a magical unicorn horn or something equally stupid! She has to fight Mystic Meg and Basil Fawlty! Then Peter O’Toole turns up wearing the worst 80's jumper ever seen in a superhero film! Helen Slater tries her best, but even Superman IV was better than this!!!
SUPERMAN THE MOVIE -1978
“You’ll Believe A Man Can Fly!” ran this classic’s advertising campaign. What’s more, you believed that Christopher Reeves’ Superman stood for “Truth, Justice and The American Way!” But it’s not just Supes himself - Richard Donner doesn’t skimp on the human element, making you believe in bumbling alter-ego Clark Kent, plucky reporter Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) and evil genius Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman). Certainly the (Great?) Grandaddy of the current crop of Super Hero Movies, getting the casting right and treating the characters with respect. I'm not a big Superman fan, but this is close to perfection.
SUPERMAN II - 1980
Much of this was filmed by Richard Donner back-to-back with Superman’s debut outing and incoming director Richard Lester goes for a heightened comedic style, often at odds with Donner’s approach. We do, however, get to see a full scale super-powered smackdown on the streets of Metropolis, a good three decades before CGI allowed such spectacle to become commonplace, if not downright ubiquitous. Strong performances from returning leads Christopher Reeves and Margot Kidder, while Terrence Stamp is terrific as General Zod, leader of the Evil Kryptonians. Not as classic as the first but still has some iconic moments.
NB - There also exists a "Donner Cut" with some deleted scenes and test footage edited in. It gives a flavour of Donner's vision for the Man of Steel's sophomore outing but is more of a curio than a finished film.
NB - There also exists a "Donner Cut" with some deleted scenes and test footage edited in. It gives a flavour of Donner's vision for the Man of Steel's sophomore outing but is more of a curio than a finished film.
SUPERMAN III - 1983
Richard Lester lapses into full-on slapstick in this third installment, roping in Richard Pryor to gurn and whoop his way through a dull tale of an evil supercomputer. Christopher Reeves does his best with the subpar material and it’s far from Pryor’s finest cinematic hour.
SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE
Ouch! Filmed on the cheap with Milton Keynes (yes THAT Milton Keynes!!!) standing in for Metropolis and a bargain basement supervillain in Atomic Man. Stupid rather than silly and a sad exit for Christopher Reeves’ as yet untouched portrayal of the first superhero.
TANK GIRL - 1995
Alan Martin and Jamie Hewlett’s anarchic Riot Grrl icon receives a far-too-serious cinematic adaptation that tries to answer ALL the questions that NOBODY ever cared about: What is Tank Girl’s real name? How did she get her tank? Why is the desert a desert? How come there are talking kangaroos? Lori Petty is perfect in the lead role, with support from a young Naomi Watts as Jet Girl and Malcolm McDowell as (quelle suprise!) a scenery-chomping baddie. However, the script trips over itself trying to make sense of the inherent nonsense of the source material. The high point has to be the big Busby Berkley song and dance number in a Sci-Fi brothel. Perhaps the whole movie should have been done as a campy Rocky Horror-style musical - It certainly couldn’t have made it any worse!
THOR: RAGNAROK - 2017
A very different tone for the God of Thunder, slipping into Guardians of the Galaxy buffoonery rather than the Shakespearean angst of Thor’s previous outings. Our Asgardian hero finds himself exiled on an alien planet and forced into gladitorial combat against a certain green-skinned former team mate. Chris Hemsworth shows impressive comedic chops and Cate Blanchett’s evil Hela makes for a visually stunning adversary. Director Taika Watiti ramps up the gags and quirky characters for an extremely enjoyable space romp but with Star Lord and Co. covering much the same cosmic and comedic ground, where does Thor go from here?
V FOR VENDETTA - 2005
Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s seminal graphic novel becomes a fairly standard action flick with some “contemporary” anti-establishment murmurings. Despite a good cast including Hugo Weaving, John Hurt and Natalie Portman, this falls far short of the emotional impact of the source material. It also changes the basic premise from the intriguing “V could be anyone” to the much more confusing “V is everyone!”
WATCHMEN - 2009
Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons’ “unfilmable” graphic novel gets a pretty faithful adaptation from Zack Snyder. None of the cast were household names, thus avoiding the “Hollywood Star Syndrome” of many comic-related movies. Snyder doesn’t shy away from the adult themes - there’s plenty of sex and violence on show, along with the strong anti-heroic mood and we even get a big blue full frontal from Dr. Manhattan! In fact, many of the more successful sequences involve the good doctor (clothed or otherwise!) and his unique view of the Watchmen universe. Unfortunately, much of the symmetry, synchronicity and serendipity of the book itself is lost, but Snyder has captured part of the multi-layered narrative approach with a separate animated version of The Black Freighter comic-within-a-comic and mockumentary Under The Hood.
WE ARE THE BEST - 2013
Lukas Moodysson’s enchanting tween-punk movie is based on his wife Coco’s graphic novel Never Goodnight. We follow a trio of 12 year old girls in early 80's Stockholm as they form a punk band to rage against the injustices of school, parents and modern life. The three leads are charmingly naturalistic and it's played out with an authentically low-key feel. Much like a Coen Brothers movie, not a great deal happens, but you probably won’t notice. Funny, heartfelt and well worth a look.
WHITEOUT - 2009
Strong overtones of John Carpenter’s The Thing in the desolate snowbound location evoke instant claustrophobia. Kate Beckinsdale uncovers a standard murder “mystery” but takes an hour longer than you will to solve it. Becks manages to raise the temperature a couple of degrees, despite the sub-zero plot.
WONDER WOMAN - 2017
The fourth entry in DC’s attempt to fast-track an Avengers-style movie universe for their characters and, somewhat astoundingly, it’s not awful! Gal Gadot, fresh from stealing the thunder from both Batman and Superman in their own film, successfully essays the power and naïveté of the immortal Amazon Warrior thrust into the war-torn world of men. Although Wonder Woman has a rich comic history set in World War II, for some reason here we’re plunged into the trench warfare of the First World War. Perhaps it’s because Captain America already did WW2 in his debut film. With only a brief nod to Batman, this is very much a standalone story and benefits from not linking too closely to the dimly-lit CGI-fests favoured by Zack Snyder.
X-MEN - 2000
Marvel’s Merry Mutants have been at the top of the comics pile for decades but were a tough sell on the big screen... At least until SFX technology caught up with the printed page. Bryan Singer’s debut outing is THE film that started the current trend for big budget superhero blockbusters. Juggling serious themes along with the basic Good vs Evil plot, Singer relies on his strong cast to deliver. Although ostensibly an ensemble piece, the movie is held together by Hugh Jackman’s career-making turn as Wolverine, supported by renowned thesps Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan as Professor X and arch-nemesis Magneto. The secret to its success is casting proper actors who take the material seriously, rather than action stars or models who look the part but can’t string a convincing sentence together.
X-MEN 2 - 2003
Bryan Singer returns for a bigger, bolder and BLUER sequel as new arrival Nightcrawler threatens to steal Wolverine’s thunder. Alan Cumming makes an impressive entrance in an attack on the White House and redeems himself later with an audacious mid-air rescue. Hugh Jackman gets to dig a little deeper into Wolvie’s origins and there’s some nice interaction between Rogue and some of the other students. The increase in Singer’s budget and confidence enables some amazing action and special effects sequences with the tragic climax setting up a promising third instalment.
X-MEN: THE LAST STRAW - 2006
Franchise mastermind Bryan Singer jumps ship and leaves things in the incapable hands of Brett Ratner with dire consequences. The classic Dark Phoenix storyline is butchered and almost every character and subplot is mishandled. They don’t even bother to get Wolverine and Storm’s hair right, never mind the special effects! A shambolic mess that did more to damage mutantkind on screen than the Sentinels ever did in the comics.
X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE - 2009
A promising idea to delve into the early history of Marvel’s most muddled mutant is ruined by a legion of mutants... Gambit, The Blob, Sabretooth, Deadpool and more jostle for screentime in the confusion. Many of the characters’ appearances here are later completely ignored in subsequent movies, not least Deadpool. Hugh Jackman manages to hold his own... barely!
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS - 2011
Things looked pretty bleak for our merry mutants after the double-whammy of The Last Stand and Wolverine, but Matthew Vaughan stepped into the breach with a 1960’s reboot that revitalised the franchise. Dynamic casting helps to breathe new life into the premise: James McAvoy as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Magneto lead a group of young mutants to form the first team of X-Men to battle their evil counterparts at the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique and Nicholas Hoult as The Beast ably bring up the rear, while the ever-reliable Kevin Bacon villainously chews the scenery as only he can.
X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX - 2019
The Last Straw Take Two: Writer Simon Kinberg slips into the Director’s chair for a second crack at the classic X-Men tale of darkness, redemption and loss. Unfortunately he drops the whole thing off a cliff early on, taking a couple of fan favourites out of action far too soon and failing to regain momentum. Sophie Turner’s limp performance cannot hold the film together and the regulars seem to be going through the motions. Once again, the intrinsic cosmic elements are downplayed and instead of a spacebound finale we have a literal trainwreck... A fitting metaphor for this disappointing final entry in Fox’s X-Men franchise.
Please note: All movie images © respective companies and only used for review purposes.
All other images and text © Andy Williams 2023.
All other images and text © Andy Williams 2023.